Funny Matrimonial Ads

FISHERMAN

Wife wanted, must be able to dig, clean, cook worms and clean fish. Must have own boat with motor. Please send photograph of motorboat.

SALESMAN

Once in a lifetime offer, to get yourself the original, genuine article.One of the most handsome and smartest bachelor's around is now looking for a wife.

MATHEMATICIAN

Wife required to complete the formula of my life. Must be numerate and understand complex algebraic logarithms. Needed to help further my family unit.

IT CONSULTANT

Well there is definite room for improvement in my life. The speed of my current flows of information and processes is slowing down and the injection of a wife into my life is bound to improve efficiency. Compatibility could be an issue.

CAR DEALER

Wanted a sturdy, reliable, low depreciating wife. Should be in excellent working condition.

PILOT

Wife required to complete my life. Please only level headed applicants. She must not have her heads in the clouds, but have her feet firmly on the ground. Her heart must be in it for the long haul. And she absolutely must also be aerodynamically sound!!!

BANKER

Wanted wife who takes interest in me and credits me with her service.

ACCOUNTANT

Required a girl - 5'8' & 36' 24' 36' with a good head for figures. She must be averse to making unnecessary expenditure and her very nature should be one of generating as few expenses in my life as possible.

BEGGAR

Allah kay naam peh koi eik biwi dey dey, Doosrey kee nahi to upni hee dey dey, Allah terah bullah kurrey, Tujhey eik key balley doh dey dey, Hillery hogi toh Monika bhi dey dey!

DOCTOR

I am looking for a wife to cure the emptiness in my life. However if you feel the need for a second opinion then it's fine by me.

ARMY COMMANDO

My mission in life is to find myself the perfect wife. Successful applicants must be able to use a penknife and a compass. She who dares wins. Camouflage provided.

ASTRONAUT

I'm searching for a wife to fill the space in my life. Someone to share my universe. Must have looks that are out of this world!

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